THE FAMILY EXPERIENCE

On the opposite end of the vast spectrum which comprises PTSD is the least mentioned and oft times forgotten segment--the family.

It has often been said that the women who live with Vietnam veterans are the "forgotten wounded" of the Vietnam war. Too infrequently is their plight given adequate attention partly due to their own reluctance to discuss their family problems; either from fear of retaliation from their veteran husbands, or guilt, feeling that something must be wrong with them when confronted by their spouse's anger or alienation. At worst, the wife has little or no understanding of her husband's behavior; at best she does not know how to deal with what she understands.

The Vietnam veteran who is suffering from PTSD typically has a family which is a dysfunctional one, however there are distinct characteristics which sets the family apart from other dysfunctional family units. (T. Scarano, Family Therapy: A Viable Approach for Treating Troubled Vietnam Veterans) Rigid family patterns are set by the veteran, closely interwoven with alternating periods of denial and intrusive thoughts. The family members allow the patterns to continue in order to prevent disruptive behavior by the veteran. They see him as ill, reinforcing his own identification as ill. If this life style continues, the family members adopt complimentary roles resulting in a MORE rigid pattern.

A comment typically stated by a family member is, "We don't talk about Vietnam, he says I don't understand." Additionally, family members may sometimes receive information concerning his war experiences by the veteran who may be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Such experiences may thus be exaggerated. These myths are perpetuated by family members, and offers an acceptable explanation for them when his behavior is unacceptable. (A. Ferreira, 1960) Naturally the rationale is that his behavior must then be a result of his experiences in Vietnam. This in turn again allows his behavior to continue. In actuality, the continuing cycle is a huge disservice to the whole family unit because it allows for maintenance of distorted interactions.

The roles of children during the war were confusing to the veteran and as a result he has difficulty interacting with his own. He may be overly involved in their protection or welfare, or completely incapable of emotional involvement of any kind. Thus the child begins to emulate his/her parent by isolating or feeling he is responsible for the destructive behaviors.

Most importantly perhaps is the veteran's fear of loss, whether real or expected. Many veterans have not yet mourned their losses in Vietnam and have suppressed the related grief. The overwhelming fear of loss prevents him from closely aligning to family members and in effect leaves them without a viable husband and/or father. What results among the entire family is alternating feelings of sadness and hostility. When there is PTSD present in a Vietnam veteran, it is undoubtedly present in family members. The same symptoms are frequently displayed by them and the cycle continues unless they seek help or intervention.